Behavior Problems and Mental Health

Problem behavior is part of growing up and very common in pre-school and school age children. Sometimes parents may have difficulty deciding whether certain behaviors are “normal problems” or “red flag” behaviors. Appropriate teaching and modeling is one of the best ways to help prevent and change problem behaviors. Multiple sources are available for information on discipline.

This page is a brief summary of some common behavior difficulties. More specific topics are also available, just click links in right sidebar or use search to find information.

Healthy discipline means to teach a child to control self and get along with others; it does not need to include harsh punishment or scolding.

Tantrums

Screaming is a super-duper temper tantrum unleashed by a youngster with exceptional vocal cords and lungs. A child is likely to repeat this behavior because it usually works. The child’s screaming either gets the parent to surrender unconditionally or it causes the parent to scream back.

How do I cope with screaming?

  • Clarify the rule for your child: “We don’t scream in this family. Either talk in a calm voice or go to your room.”
  • If your child continues screaming, take her to her bedroom for a brief time-out.
  • Don’t try to ignore this disruptive tantrum.
  • Close the door to your child’s room. Every 4 or 5 minutes, open the door and tell your child, “I hope you feel good enough to come out now.”
  • Offer your child many chances to rejoin the family, but if she comes out screaming, return her to her room.
  • Make sure none of the adults who care for your child yells or screams. A child is a marvelous copycat.

Aggressive Behavior

The child who frequently hits, slaps, and bites other children or destroys their toys is not going through a stage. He is exhibiting an aggressive behavior that is upsetting to parents and other children. Aggressive behavior includes intentionally breaking things; pushing, kicking, or hitting other children; and verbally abusing playmates with threats of violence, excessive name calling, and age-inappropriate swearing.

The following suggestions will help you prevent or reduce aggressive behavior in your child.

  • Keep your child away from people or playmates who act aggressive.
  • Do not roughhouse with an aggressive child. To do so only serves to encourage aggressive behavior.
  • Begin by helping an aggressive child to behave well in situations where he normally does not act aggressively. Later, you can work more directly on the aggressive behavior itself.
  • Steer clear of all forms of physical punishment. Spanking and hitting can teach a child to spank and hit others.
  • Refrain from all forms of verbal abuse.
  • Make sure that each day you give your child at least 50 brief physical touches.

A child’s aggressive behavior is much easier to prevent than it is to eliminate. The less aggressive behavior a child is exposed to, the less likely he is to act aggressively toward others

Childhood Depression

Often it is thought that depression is mostly seen in adolescents and adults. However, it is now known that depression can occur at any age. Young children (in middle childhood) may say they are “sad, down in the dumps, or bored”. If you see these signs (especially if they last more than a few days) in your child, call for an appointment.
  • Irritable, crying more often; feeling discouraged, blue, and empty
  • Bored, decreased interest and performance in school work
  • Feeling tired, problems concentrating, “too tired” for activities with friends
  • Sleep problems: hard to go to sleep at night, waking in the middle of night, or sleeping a lot more than usual
  • Appetite changes, significant weight loss (or sometimes, weight gain)
  • Withdrawal, lack of interest in activities, spending a lot of time alone
  • Becoming overly concerned about minor problems
  • Acting out, engaging in reckless behaviors (skipping school, running away from home, abusing drugs, driving dangerously, etc.)
  • Recurrent physical symptoms that seem vague, but are very real and concerning to the child (often includes: chest or stomach pains, headaches, and dizziness)